"The TARGA management have asked me to have a friendly talk with you..."
"And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.”
"Is it SAFE?"
"No, no, any DM can kill a character. The challenge, is to orchestrate a TPK and make the players think it's their fault."
Welcome to HELL!Will you be checking any luggage?
"This jacket... so... heavy..."
"I'm Rob Kuntz. Yes, the Rob Kuntz. Easy, guys... I put my pants on just like the rest of you -- one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make legendary D&D products."
"I heard you like Mudkipz."
"It puts the lotion on its skin. Or else it gets TPKed again."~or~"CeilingKuntz is watching (etc.)"~or~"Phenomenal game designing power; itty-bitty living space."
with apologies for the verbosity, my entry:"The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slopes gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you."
"Why must you turn my office into a house of lies?"
"Why. So. Serious?"
"What is this... this... THING!?"
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe..."
"Do you find me sadistic? You know, I bet I could fry an egg on your head right now, if I wanted to."or"Yes, they're real"
I will kill you with my fivehead.
"Are you absolutely sure you don't know anyone named Chris Hansen?"...I feel terrible...
"Ahhh, playing Mordenkainen's Fantastic Adventure eh? Here's a tip: Anyone who wears socks with slippers deserves a slow death."
He kinda looks like Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters II...
Late and therefore not eligible for anything except derision; "Hold still and stop wriggling while I oil this giraffe"
"Velcome to Castle Kuntz, ve haff been expecting you..."