Thursday, September 23, 2010

Another. Stupid. Hammerhead.

Check Jeff's Blog today for some cool catalog images from 1979. Really takes me back - I can remember drooling over toy catalogs as a kid.

I can also remember hoping, each birthday and Christmas, that I would get droves of Imperial Stormtroopers for my Luke, Han, and Chewie figures to blast their way through. Instead, I got F'n Hammerhead. Over and over and over again. I literally had a dozen of these ugly idiots.

I'm not sure what attraction this beanpole, blue-unitard-wearing slugface had for my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, but they seemed unable to avoid buying me the hideous things. I mean, this guy was in the movie for what? 1.3 seconds? Sitting there in the cantina gurgling and looking hideous. If you ever needed any confirmation (other than senor Binks) that the folks in charge of the Star Wars franchise have perhaps completely lost touch with their fanbase, you need look no further than this atrocity: A F'n Hammerhead Jedi.

If I ever get my hands on one of these figures I'm going to destroy it in the most unpleasant way I can devise.

F you, Hammerhead Jedi. F you.


  1. Somebody woke up on the Dark Side this morning ...

  2. Interesting... I felt exactly the opposite way when I was a kid. I cherished my alien and robot action figures and despised my human figures. I mean, how many stupid Luke Skywalker costume changes could they make figures out of? My Lukes, Hans, Landos, etc. all ended up swimming in the Dagobah mud pit in my friend's backyard while my Greedos, Hammerheads, Snaggletooths, and IG-88s were safe in my velveteen-lined tacklebox!

  3. Sing it, Al. Sing it.

    First off, Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru had more screen-time than Hammerhead. Where were their figures? Second, Hammerhead's stupid tripod feet wouldn't fit into any of the vehicles. Third, his gangle-arms were too long to wear any capes like the other figures.

    And, oddly enough, I had 3 of these freaks myself. (But blue Snaggletooth made up for it.)

  4. Rage on, my friend. Just don't say nothing about that Jedi's bellbottom pants. Those things are hella sweet.

  5. I'm sure he's wearing his blue Borat-suit under the Jedi garb ;)

  6. I used to modify my unwanted extras. Ithorian bounty hunters. Tribal Ithorians, etc. I had alien Jedis before they were cool :).

    Recipe -

    Duplicate Obi Wan lightsaber + Hammerhead + cheap, hand-cut cloth cloak.

    Paint blue clothing brown.

    -I also had nearly 50 ewoks. I wanted the whole damned village.


  7. @ Cyclopeatron: Why doesn't your response surprise me....

  8. Erin, there was an Uncle Owen/Aunt Beru action figure pack:


  9. I want it. But (a) I always thought this guy was awesome and loved the figure; and (b) I'm a big fan of the Tartovsky Clone Wars series, which is where this guy is pulled from.

    If you haven't seen Tartovsky's Clone Wars series, I recommend it. Even if you don't like hammerheads.



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